by leslieaddison.com | Jun 10, 2022 | Lifestyle
The beautiful, sensitive inner child … and, yes, the inner child is real. Not as a physical being separate from you … but as an aspect of you. The inner child starts with any issue that goes unresolved. The true reality is, we have more than one inner child. When any childhood issues go unresolved, we stuff them down. When we stuff them down, they manifest in our adult world as behavioral, emotional or physical issues and can result in relationship difficulties. The sad truth is, most of us are unaware that these issues stem from our unsolved issues that have created the inner child.
Becoming an “adult” means that we acknowledge, accept, and take responsibility for loving and parenting our own inner child. Many of us deny, neglect, disparage, abandon and reject our inner child and then wonder why we can’t move past certain things, why we resist things we claim we want, why certain patterns repeat or loop in our lives.
You may have been taught that you must “grow up”, “put childish things behind you”, “act like an adult” and yet no one ever truly explained what that really means or how to do it. So many of us, simply “stuff” the emotions, clam up or shut down. You may have been taught that your inner child represents your child-like capacity for innocence, wonder, awe, joy, sensitivity, and playfulness … and that to grow up you have to stifle quarantine or even kill the inner child.
The reality is, your inner child does embrace, comprise, and potentiate these positive qualities AND also accumulates all your childhood hurts, traumas, fears, angers, disappointments and the misunderstanding of how you interpreted what you experienced and felt. We can create an inner child at any age, although most of the ones we create are before the age 5.
So how does this look in your world?
If you haven’t acknowledged, accepted, and taken responsibly for your inner child, you are being unconsciously influenced by or covertly controlled by your unconscious inner child. It is not the adult self who is running your life, it is the emotional wounded inner child … much like a five-year-old running around in your 30+ year old body … it is a hurt, angry, fearful little girl (or boy) calling the shots with so much misinformation and then trying to make adult decisions. So, imagine a 5-year-old going out to do a man or woman’s job, trying to have a grown-up relationship or live independently. A child trying to cope with adult responsibilities can easily feel overwhelmed, anxious, insecure, afraid, interior, small, lost, lonely .. .to name a few. They general fall apart or have tremendous struggle and wonder why they can’ seem to get it together. How else would any child feel having to fend for themselves in an adult works without proper parental supervision, protection, structure, and support? That’s how your inner child feels when it gets triggered. And when you have multiple unresolved inner child emotional trauma loops running at the same time, it is a new form of insanity.
So how do we deal with this inner child running amuck in our life?
We start by becoming conscious of our inner child. Then we learn to take our inner child seriously and to consciously communicate with that little girl (or boy) within. To listen to how she or he feels and what she or he needs from us here and now. That little child needs the parenting, love, acceptance, protection, nurturance, understanding and safety. All the things you did not experience at that time. The answer is not in trying to get others to fulfill those needs for us, but in us resolving what we did not get at the time.
What we didn’t get from our parents and caretakers as children must be confronted in the present, painful though it may be. All the past traumas, sadness, disappointments, and depression cannot be changed. They can, however, be acknowledged, processed, upgraded, integrated and the trauma released so they can be accepted.
Your parents and caretakers did the best they could with what they had at that point in time and most likely never dealt with their own inner child. So how could they show you what they were never taught or perhaps never even knew existed? Those days are gone and what was done is done. And while we can’t go back and give you that totally perfect completely fulfilled childhood, we can help you heal, reprogram and communicate with your inner child.
Now, please understand
You are NOT broken! You are perfectly imperfect and more powerful than you know
We are all more powerful that we know. When you are ready and willing to do your inner work, it isn’t a complicated procedure. It just takes getting in a quiet still mental place, call in your inner child and then talk to her/him. Your dialog with your inner child is to make them feel safe, loved, heard, told it wasn’t their fault and they didn’t deserve it, apologize, forgive, thanks, acknowledgment, and integration. The key points are below. If you want a guided meditation or more information, just reach out to me.
I love you – What you thought you needed to accomplish to ‘win’ your parents affection and love was false. You may not have had parents who told you deserved love or were loved or loveable .. but that doesn’t make their lack of words to you real or true .. it simply means they didn’t know themselves and had little to do with you. You are lovable you do deserve love and only you know how to give you the love you need. So tell yourself I love you .. often. If these words are hard for you to say and feel, then tell yourself .. may I love you
I hear you –You have to give voice to all the pain you have stuffed as a child and continue to stuff now. The feelings don’t go away until they are given a voice and feel heard. They will continue to affect your choices and your health. Simply by saying I hear you … we’ll work through this together its going to be ok will be a huge step in the right direction.
You didn’t deserve this – As a child you did not deserve to be abused, abandoned, or shamed. You were not a bad kid just because you did something the adult didn’t agree with. All children are innocent and pure and do not deserve the mistreatment. As an adult you can see that, as the child you did not.
I’m sorry – You don’t have to be an overachiever or stressed out or continue to just take what others throw your way. You don’t have to push yourself so hard, criticize yourself or be hard on yourself ..tell your inner child you are sorry – that she didn’t deserve to be pushed so hard as a child .. allow yourself downtime, quiet time, alone time and time with loved ones
I forgive you – as things come up that you blame yourself for such as your parents divorce or fighting or a parent leaving or being sad or dying .. it wasn’t your fault .. you were a child you were not and are not responsibility for their lives or behaviors so lighten up and give yourself a break
Thank you – your inner child never gave up .. she (or he) got you through the tough moments in life .. so thank her (or him) for her or his strength and perseverance
You did your best – when you let go of perfection, the fear of failure dissolves … then you can allow yourself to experiment and see how things unfold
Hugs and Love, Leslie
by leslieaddison.com | May 10, 2022 | Lifestyle
Change is the only constant in the Universe .. we change with every breath and every heartbeat every second, every minute, every hour, every day.
As a child we loved change. We couldn’t wait until we were big enough or old enough to do something … and then somewhere along the line we allowed other people to cause us to withdraw our energy. We became fearful or stuck.
So why did we do this to ourselves? Typically, it is because we find we have something we think we can lose and that makes us what to hang on with all our might.
The truth is, every single thing changes every minute. Now, at first the changes are miniscule and we don’t really notice them .. over time we notice but not every day. So in a relationship, if one person is changing rapidly you may notice it sooner and if you aren’t changing you don’t keep up and that can create a divide.
The other reason we resist change is we think we know it all and then we aren’t open to other ideas or input. Imagine if people like Thomas Edison didn’t pursue change, we would all be watching TV by candlelight. Or if the Wright brothers didn’t keep trying to fly, or if the various people who created automobiles .. or personal computers or cell phones.. or how about curling irons and flat irons and hot rollers .. what about the microwave and convection ovens? You see everything changes .. so why do you resist?
Another reason is people are afraid to be a beginner and make a mistake learning so they don’t even try. So, when did you stop giving yourself permission to change your mind or try again? You didn’t stop learning to walk to use a fork. You didn’t stop learning to read or write or do math. To be good at anything, you need practice and that practice takes hours. It has nothing to do with failure .. it is about fine tuning.
Like when I try a new recipe… the first time I follow the instructions as I interpret them. Then I evaluate and tweak and do it again. And somewhere between times 3-10, I get it exactly like want it. I’ve figured out the nuances, the variables and my preferences.
My point is, I don’t give up and I’m not afraid to try. So where are you afraid to be a beginner in your life? And ask yourself this .. why do you feel you need to be a master at anything when you are not willing to do the work? Have you put in the 10,000 hours necesary to master something or do you give up in the first 30 minutes?
Now when it comes to knowing change is coming … it always starts out small. You feel something needs to be different. Like a restlessness … for me it will start with a need to change something … like clean out a drawer or hang a picture … then it will move into something like changing the nail polish color I’ve worn for years or getting new make-up or new glasses or new clothes. It can then progress in to painting the walls or getting a new rug or a new wardrobe … or slightly more dramatic like a new hair color or hair style. And sometimes it shows up in a really big way, like a new job, a new home, a new relationship … even if that one is with yourself.
This is a time for reflection .. what am I really sensing and wanting to be different and WHY? Where do I feel it in my body and how is it manifesting in my life. What do I want from these changes? What is the underlyign emotion.
So .. here’s been my experiences over the past 4 months.
I was bored with my clothes and not happy with how I looked. I bought new clothes and that gave me a temporary sense of happiness. I visited with friends and family and they helped me find things that looked good one me. So what was I after? I wanted to feel good in my body and how I presented myself to the outside world. My why was when I feel like I look good, I feel good. When I feel good, I attract good and happy to me.
I was frustrated with how I was wanting to cook, and not having the right tools. So, I focused on what I was wanting to do, bought the new kitchen tools and started cooking/baking up a storm. So what was I after? Ease. I wanted ease in the kitchen. I know how energy flows and I didn’t want to imprint the food I was preparing with frustration, I wanted to infuse it with love .. me being less frustrated made me happy and made for happy food.
I woke up on day and HATED my hair. HATED it … and for those of you who know me, you know I don’t go here very often. But here I was in total HATE and loathing for my hair. Having recentlt moved, I still hadn’t found my sylist … I had gone to someone who did an OK job, but not what I wanted. I ended up stripping the color myself, found a picture of what I wanted and found a new stylist. She did an OK job, but only half of what I wanted, telling me it was a process. But after 3 visits and no progress toward the look I wanted, I found yet another stylist who listened to me and did what I wanted. So what was I after? My why is to show up authentically as me … I had outgrown my days of coloring my hair and I am OK with my hair as I am now. To do that meant a major undoing of what I had been doing trying to hide who I really am. It feels good to show up as me as I am.
I changed my nail polish color of many years from orange to a red and liked it at first and then I didn’t, so I changed it again. So what was I after? I wanted to change because I thought I needed to. The really is, I’m happy with my orange color and if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
I changed all my make-up .. So what was I after? I was after skin care products that worked on my body as it is now. I wanted organic and I wanted to buy from a company that has core beliefs that supported my own. I voted for them with my purchases .. and I love how my skin feels with I use them. Happy skin, happy me.
I bought a new car – even though my vehicle was a 2021 .. I felt like I was settling because it didn’t have 2 features that were very important to me .. so I sold the 2021 and bought a 2022 model. So what was I after? I didn’t want to settle. Period. I didn’t want to settle. It cost me $5,000 to change vehicles and I was OK with that because I got what I wanted, gave myself permission to make a change and then took the action step of change. OMG I love this one!
All because I am willing to be a beginner, I’m willing to try and I refuse to settle for less than what I want. Now there is a difference between settle for less and compromising for a healthy relationship. And it’s important to know the difference. For me, this is about me and the times when I don’t have anyone else who is involved in this decision. It is between me, my body and my wallet. It is important to my self-esteem.
Hugs and Love, Leslie
by leslieaddison.com | Apr 10, 2022 | Lifestyle
We all can communicate in some form another. Most of us are capable of speaking, even through sign language. We learned as children to form sounds, put them together to make a word and put words together to form a thought and then form a sentence or a paragraph. We grasp the fundamentals of communicating through our voice.
So, we do I mean when I say FIND YOUR VOICE?
Your “Voice” is more than just the words. Every sound in the Universe is a vibration. Each vibration is a form of energy. When you speak, you release multiple vibrations out into the world. It’s way more than just the physical sound you think.
Every sound carries multiple components, so we receive them on multiple levels. When we hear a sound or someone’s “voice”, we feel it first, so our emotional body gets engages, then we hear it and engage our physical body and then we comprehend it and engage our mental body. The combination of the three, allow us to determine our response to that sound or voice. Same is true with what we put out in terms of vibrations when we speak. Other people pick up on our emotions, often more than the words we speak.
Your emotional voice has to do with what’s going on inside you at any given moment. It’s how you are feeling when you speak or how a sound you hear makes you feel.
For example, an unexpected, sudden, loud sound will throw you into high alert. You might jump, scream, or run. It triggers the Fight/Flight/Freeze response and floods your body with cortisol. On the other hand, a pleasant melody, will throw you into heart energy and release dopamine, your happy hormones and your experience is totally different.
When you speak from a place of doubt, fear, shame, guilt, unworthy or unlovable, your vibration is lower. Some people can’t hear you, many times you are ignored, and your words carry no weight. Your vibration is one of unworthy and it comes across as such.
When you speak from a place of unhappy, anger, rage, your vibration is higher but discordant. It overwhelms others, sending them into Fight, Flight or Freeze … they can hear you, but not as you really may want. Your energy comes across as demanding and something others want to avoid.
When you speak with confidence, clarity and purpose, your vibration is higher. When it comes from your heart, it comes across as sincere, honest, and trustworthy. Your voice is clear and inviting, more charismatic and comes across as commanding.
Your physical voice component has two parts … one the vocalization when you speak and the way your body feels when you hear sounds you didn’t make with your vocal cords.
When you speak, the physical component has to do with the loudness you project .. a whisper or a shout and the in-between levels. It also has to do with your clarity of sound .. are your vocal cords clear and producing an even sound or are the scratchy and you feel like you need to clear your throat?
Your physical component combines with your emotional component and as you emit the sound from your vocal cords, you release a frequency and a vibration that others pick up and interpret.
If you are unsure of yourself, your voice sound will be weak, it you are angry your voice will overwhelm and if you are confident, you will be clear and commanding.
Your mental voice component has two parts … one that forms the thoughts and words you speak and where your mind goes when you hear sounds or other people speaking.
When you want to speak you mind forms the thoughts and words, engages your vocal cords and you speak with your emotions coming through your words.
When you are speaking from a place of unworthy, doubtful, unconfident or telling a fib, your voice comes across as weak, sends out red flags to others and they either ignore you or go to on alert.
When you are speaking from a place of anger or judgment, you voice comes across as overwhelm or repulsive and others want to get away from you.
When you are speaking from a place of confidence, clarity and control, your voice comes across as someone others want to hear and be around.
When you hear a sound or someone else speaking, your own mind goes through these three phases to decide your response to the sound or to them.
Your “voice” is the one that comes from your heart. It is based on your core beliefs, opinions, thoughts, and dispositional attitudes. It’s the responses you have to every situation in your life. Are you positive or negative?
Are you beating the same old drum?
Do you change your “voice” when you learn something new or do you respond to something as not for me and keep beating the same drum?
Have you taken the time to really look at your voice and see how much of it is truly yours?
Yep – I said how much of your voice is truly yours.
Is what’s coming into your head and out your mouth on autopilot, a ‘canned’ response you give, and/or a regurgitation of other people’s information that you have accepted as truth for you without thinking about whether it’s actually true or not?
OR
Is what’s coming into your head and out your mouth filtered through your efforts of uncovering what is really your own beliefs, opinions, and dispositional attitudes?
For example, are you regurgitating your parents’ beliefs around money, work, relationships or have you taken some time to listen to your own rhetoric and evaluated it for truth for you?
Are you one that hears something and repeats it, or do you research for the truth before speaking it?
Do you blindly believe what you hear, read or see or do you ask questions?
I know you want to be authentic, to be significant and be real. To be true to yourself, first and foremost. When you find your voice, your real voice, by discovering more about yourself and your why behind the beliefs, core values, opinions, judgements, and dispositional attitudes that make you uniquely you.
Finding your voice is liberating, it sets you free in ways you’ve never known before and when you feel free and safe to be you, to express yourself, you can be heard.
Finding your voice, is about self-discovery. Separately out everyone else’s information and deciding for yourself what is true for you, truth for you, the principles you want to live by, your core beliefs and your personal code of conduct. What is right or wrong for you? What is important for you? What atrocities break your heart in a way they inspire you to action?
These are some of ways your voice shows up and lets you speak up and speak out when its important. It’ your shining light that moves you along your path.
Now, one more thing about truth. Truth is subjective, very personal, and rarely an absolute. Your voice gives you the right to stand UP for you but is never permission to spew it onto others or try to force them to live by your truth. Each of us is a sovereign being and each of us gets to choose our own truth. I like this part the best – it frees me the responsibility of thinking I’m the master of the universe and get to dictate others’ behaviors … and it puts that responsibility back on them where it belongs.
Hugs and Love, Leslie
by leslieaddison.com | Mar 10, 2022 | Lifestyle
I found this week’s Burning Question to be rather interesting … and I probably have a different perspective that some others.
From my point of view, a psychic attack is simply a thought form – good or bad. The word “attack” implies negative or bad, so to distinguish, I will refer to the good or positive ones as “hugs”.
Every day, most of the time without even realizing it, we are sending OR receiving thought forms. They can be consciously sent, meaning you knew you were doing it and did it on purpose or they can be unconsciously sent, meaning you had no idea you were sending thoughts to another person, animal or a situation.
So psychic “attack” means sending or receiving a bad or negative thought form, consciously AND on purpose with the intent to cause havoc or harm or unconsciously which still can result in havoc or harm.
When you are the sender of a psychic attack, it is coming from a place of fear within you. Fear can look like anger, jealousy, hurt feelings, disappointment, judgment, the desire to control or the desire to punish someone for what you perceive they did “to you”. This fear comes with levels of intensity.
For example, I can have a low level of anger and just be frustrated about something, or I can have a high level and be in state of complete rage and all points in-between these two. The level of intensity of the fear coming from you and directed at someone else will determine the intensity the psychic attack is felt by the person you are sending it to. If they are an energetic sensitive person, the can feel all of your intensity when it blasts them.
When you are recipient of a psychic attack, you may feel your energy drain when you are around a certain person, may suddenly feel pain, get a headache, feel “off”, suicidal, depressed or anxious.
Now, to be clear, not all pain, headaches, feeling off, suicidal, depression or anxiety are results of psychic attacks. For example, if you are normally happy and things are going well in your life and suddenly you are feeling off, depressed or anxious and there is no identifiable cause, it could be a psychic attack OR you could just be empathing someone. Pain that has no “cause”, can be a psychic attack OR you are empathing someone else.
So, what do you do about it?
Here’s what I do when I have a pain or feeling that doesn’t match what is going with me at the moment … I simply ASK, Who does this belong to? Crazy simple, but max effective. When I ask “WHO” does this belong to, my body and my mind know whether it belongs to me or was sent to me. When it is not mine, it will go away 9 times out of 10. The “who does this belong to” is a sort of return to sender thought …
Face it, we are all empaths … We all pick up on other people thoughts all the time … and most of the time we think those thoughts are our own – so when someone is sending you a “psychic attack” or a “psychic hug”, we pick up on it right away. Usually, we are getting it subconsciously and just feel it in our bodies, our emotions or our mind.
Many people go their entire lives and never experience a negative psychic attack. Others, seem to feel like they hit with them all the time. Most of the people I know who are more aware of the negative psychic attacks are spiritual counselors, healers and people who walk a path of service helping others. Personally, I think this happens more so they can build up their awareness, work through their own fears so they can be of service to others.
Psychic attacks are designed to trigger your own personal fear hot button. They are meant to cause havoc in your life, throw you off balance, disrupt your harmony and stop you in your tracks. This is when you connect with source, clear your energy field, surround yourself with love, send the attack, known or unknown lots of love.
When it is an insidious attack, you may need help to dispel it and that is more than I can write here because each circumstance is a unique one.
Now, I have a belief that there is only love and a lack of love, so I do not naturally gravitate to the negative side, and I tend to be pretty naïve to what some people experience
Does Evil Exist?
WELL, evil is defined as something that is morally bad or wrong, sinful or wicked that causes ruin injury or pain and considered harmful – we personify these thanks to Hollywood who entertains us with images we can relate to in human or animal form.
It is really just the absence of good and it is just a word.
It can only exist in a reality that possesses ignorance or a lack of conscious awareness – it is the stuff
that comes from the minds of really good writers and marketing people.
We live in a plane of duality – we believe as a whole in good and bad, right and wrong, up and down, left and right … so I can see how some people believe in evil
To me, evil is nothing more than an experience that I observe that is contrary to my core beliefs and dispositional attitudes. For when we view “evil” from the place of heart-centered consciousness, we perceive it differently and just as a face of something wanting to be loved.
Hugs and Love, Leslie
by leslieaddison.com | Feb 10, 2022 | Lifestyle
As I sit here today and ponder my WHY it takes me to so many places as I consider the various ways my WHY plays out in my life.
My 3D why is why do I do the things that I do … you know, those things that make up my attitudes, opinions, judgments, belief, and choices. The ones that make me happy, sad, joyful, angry. The ones that cause me to pause and think about how I ended up the here at this point in my life. The ones that cause me to feel worthy, or not; loved or not; lovable or not; valued or not; heard or not. The ones that drive me to action, whether they come from not feeling safe, or from fear, or from anger, or from joy … The ones that lead me to be a volunteer advocate for children for over 22 years or help with animal rescue for over 18 years or cleaning up the environment for over 12 years or take a public stand for women’s rights or even to taking a stand for the under dogs in any scenario … which I’ve done all my life.
The deepest why of course, is the why am I here, now, in this time space reality, living this life …
The why of my life purpose, mission … the why of my gifts, talents, and abilities. The why behind what I chose to experience and master in this lifetime. The why behind my contribution and give back to the humanity, county and planet.
As I go deep down this rabbit hole, I think my why comes down to my individual soul expression. In order to truly master any “thing”, one must know all that it is and all that it is not and practice that at least 10,000 times. So, my why is all about me working toward the master of the things I chose as my experiences in this lifetime.
To understand self-love, one must know all that self-love is and all that it isn’t. My why is to know self-love. So choosing this, allowed me to experience love and self-love in the many ways it is and the many ways it is not.
To understand heart-centered consciousness, one must know all that being in heart-centered conscious is and all that it isn’t. My why is to live each day from my heart in all that I do. So choosing this, allowed me to experience what it is like to live in heart-centered consciousness in the many ways it is and the many ways it is not.
To understand equality for all souls, one must know all that equality is and all that it isn’t. Each soul has its own unique path at a soul level and its own course of experiences in any given lifetime. Soul level equality is each soul’s right to pursue their own path and course according to their terms, not mine. According to what they chose to master and experience, not what I want them to do. This one is a slippery slope and often throws me into a quandary. Am I helping or hurting us both when I try to inflict my will, wants and desires onto another person and take away thier right to choose for themselves? Where do we draw the line? When it comes to children under 14 who cannot take care of themselves, I perceive my role as one of caretaker to provide them with a loving nurturing environment, where they can feel safe to express themselves and grow, as a guide to show them integrity, honor, truth, compassion and kindness. It is not my role to stiffle them, give them my baggage or prevent them from following their own path. When it comes to adults, it’s different for we all get to experience the consequenses of our actions. When I do something for someone else I have to ask what is my why behind my actions? Am I helping them? Hurting them? Denying them the growth opportunity their actions are presenting to them? If I don’t know thier soul level’s mission and purpose for the experience, how can I judge or interfere with the experience and not create karma/darma for myself and them? For the laws of the Universe say if I interfere with someone elses lessons, I take them on becuase I inserted myself. I still struggle with the hand-up and hand-out thing .. I have learned over time to just tap into my higher self and ask for guidance on what is appropriate for me to do in this cirumstance at this time. That seems to be working … for some times all the other person really needs is for me to be a sounding board where they can think outloud and encouragement that they can make the right choice for themselves.
That’s as deep as I can go down this rabbit hole today. Tomorrow is another day …
So my friends, I’d love to hear what your WHY is …
Hugs and Love, Leslie
