Our thoughts are amazing. Sometimes we ponder and really dig into a concept – looking at it from all sides, weighing the pros and cons to find that little golden nugget that is precious to us. Sometimes we are learning about something new and we have a lot to grasp, so we will really focus, breaking down the process into step-by-step bite size chunks so we can learn it.
Sometimes, we pull from past experiences and then apply those experiences to the new concept at hand. Sometimes this is very valuable … after all we don’t always have to reinvent the wheel and much of what we know is transferable to new ideas.
And then there are those pesky little thoughts that run on auto-pilot … the ones we have accepted as a truth, that we no longer question their validity, that taint, flavor and color our perception and how we react, respond and view our world. These little thoughts left unchecked become dispositional attitudes, opinions and judgments and rather than serve us, hinder us. They run in the background much like breathing and act like they know what to do. When you try to bring them to the forefront so you can modify or get rid of them, they will scream with indignation … for they are a cherished belief after all and how dare you try to change them.
Where do this little buggers come from? About 80% of them were accepted as truth by you before you were 3 years old!!! Many of them you picked up from your parents, caretakers, siblings and other family members. You picked them up when you were a virtual sponge, learning your way from a place of complete trust that your family was always right, knew everything and would never steer you wrong.
Some of what you learned was true, right and good, however, sadly, much of it was not. Not because your family meant you harm or was trying to mislead you in any way, but because they themselves didn’t know any better and had picked up what they were passing down to you from their family and life experiences. It was their truth, their reality … a truth and reality they passed down to you and you made it yours.
It doesn’t have to be … unless … you …. continue to accept it as yours.
Here’s a little game you can play to see how this has influenced you. Then you can decide what you want to keep and what you don’t. Try to play this game for 3 days.
With every thought that pops in, as often as you can remember, simply ask “Is this mine or someone else’s?” and then “Is this still relevant for me?” If you can write them down, you will start to see a pattern emerge over the course of the 3 days.
You may find that those thoughts of lack came from your parents or grandparents during a time when someone lost their job. Or that fear of bugs came from a sibling who scared you silly by throwing it at you or waving it in your face. Or that belief that there is something in the woods that will get you came from your parents trying to keep you close because they were busy and didn’t want you to get lost.
Who put that thought in your head that you then accepted as truth?
Perhaps you picked it up from watching television or listening to the radio or read it in a book or magazine or your very best friend told you … while it sounds good, was interesting and perhaps had a glimmer of truth at the time … did you really hear and know all the facts before you accepted it as your truth? What was the person’s intent behind the information? For example, we all know that television is a form of entertainment and that all things are sensationalized for maximum impact, including the news. It doesn’t make it right or true, it makes it entertaining. So should you accept what you see and hear as truth? If the story is biased to make one side look good and the other look bad, is it true and should you accept it as truth?
We all suffer from stinking thinking from time to time. We all have those cherished beliefs that we do not want to have challenged or told perhaps we should consider re-evaluating them. It is not about being right or wrong … it is about having the right to consciously choose what thoughts we want to accept as a truth for us and understand WHY we are choosing them and how they serve us.
Grandpa’s feeling of lack or self-worth because he lost his job are his thoughts and truth, not yours, so let them go. Aunt Betty’s fear of spiders because Uncle Joe threw them at her when she was 4 years old are her fears, not yours so let them go. Newscasters reporting crime night after night needs to be tempered … if you live in an area with 1.2 million people and 4 crimes were committed – that is a small percentage and if it is happening 30-40 miles away from you … there is a real high chance you are very safe. You get the idea .. so have fun in your discovery of self as you unwind and let go of your own stinking thinking.
Make it your goal this week to find your stinky thoughts that no longer serve you and have a going away party. Identify them, choose a better thought and then let the old one’s go bye-bye.
Hugs and Love, Leslie